The Things You Miss
by Medie
Summary: On the alien ship, Mulder unknowingly marks his birthday by thinking of home and all he misses.


Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters in this story nor do I own  
the concepts of XF or Stargate, I'm just borrowing them for awhile.  
  
Category: Alternate Universe  
  
Feedback: Yes please. Send to medison@thezone.net  
  
Archive: Gossamer, Ephemeral  
  
Keywords: 1st POV -- Mulder's POV. Companion story to Thoughts of Home.  
Implied MSR.  
  
Spoiler: None that I can think of.  
  
Rating: G  
  
Note: This AU is my own attempt to explain what happened to Samantha (called  
the Homecoming Series) --therefore, in this AU, the episode Closure never  
happened. Oh, and you might need a bit of a familiarity with Stargate SG~1,  
and the Tok'ra, but overall, this shouldn't be too confusing to read.  
  
And while I am primarily a DSR fan this series will have implied MSR cause  
I've got plans for Doggett. *G*  
  
Oh, be gentle, this one's unbeta'd.  
  
Summary: On the alien ship, Mulder unknowingly marks his birthday by  
thinking of home and all he misses.  
  
The Things You Miss  
by M. Edison  
--------------------------  
  
I change my mind, I don't want to believe in aliens anymore.   
  
Hear that CGM? You win. I resign. Done. Finito. Au revoir.   
  
No more alien chasing for Fox Mulder.   
  
Why you ask?   
  
Simple, damn things caught me and they ain't friendly skinny guys with  
pointed ears who say "fascinating" a lot. They're more like those Borg  
guys except, in my opinion, assimilation seems like a picnic compared  
to everything they put me through.   
  
Well, when they first took me anyway.   
  
While the ship was on earth, they turned me into their favourite lab  
rat. I feel like I've been dissected turned inside out, and generally  
treated like one of those frogs teenagers butcher in high schools  
every day. But after we left earth and I'm telling you, artificial  
gravity or no, you *know* when we've left good old terra firma behind  
they stopped.   
  
Out of the blue one of my keepers showed up, took me out of the exam  
chair which looks like something out of a horror movie about dentists  
and stuck me in a room. I wouldn't call it the Ritz, but it's a hell  
of a lot better than that chair. They gave me something to wear and  
left me in here. Occasionally they feed me but the rest of the time  
I'm stuck here. Its like solitary confinement on Earth. Except I don't  
even get a window.   
  
I'm not sure why they're keeping me like this. But, and since they  
usually don't speak anything remotely similar to English up here, I  
haven't been able to find out much. I have overhead them speaking but  
the only time I know what they're saying is when they say a name,  
provided it's a human name of course.   
  
That's where things get confusing. I have heard a name that's familiar  
but there's no way it can be the person I think it is.   
  
I heard them say the name Samantha.   
  
I wish Scully was here, she'd tell me there's no way it can be my  
Samantha they're talking about. That there are probably hundreds of  
thousands of women named Samantha in the world, and possibly some  
off-world, that they could be talking about. That it's not my sister.   
  
No, I take that back. I don't want Scully here. No way.   
  
I wouldn't want her to see this, to relieve her own abduction by  
witnessing mine. Not a chance.   
  
But I do miss her.   
  
Want to know what the fun part of being locked up in a room on an  
alien spaceship by yourself is? You have plenty of time to think. Too  
much time.   
  
I think about Scully a lot. What she's doing back there? Did they let  
her stay on the X-Files? Is Skinner keeping an eye on her? Did they  
assign someone new to the X-Files to help her? If so, is she giving  
them hell? Can she trust them?   
  
God I hope so. I don't even want to think about what would happen if  
*they* send in another plant. Another Krycek. Probably very sexist and  
outdated of me, but I can't help worry that she wouldn't be able to  
handle them. Stupid thought I know, there's little she can't handle if  
she's managed to put up with me for seven years.   
  
Still, the last thing she needs is someone she can't trust working  
with her. I know how it feels, how lonely it can be, even more so  
than when you're working the assignment alone. Especially when you're  
searching for someone you care about.   
  
I don't know how long they're going to keep me, or *if* they'll let me  
go, but right now its looking like a long trip. They keep heading  
*away* from Earth, well I think they are, and unless they turn around  
and go back, I'm not going to get home anytime soon. Its not like I  
can escape and hitchhike home. And I can't yank out the trusty old  
cell-phone and call for help...imagine the long distance charges on  
*that* bill.   
  
I just hope I get home period. I've spent so many years looking at the  
stars and wondering what was up there. Now that *I'm* up there, all I  
want to do is go home and look around. See *Earth* for what it is.  
Strange how you don' t realize how important something is until you  
can't have it anymore.   
  
Sitting here, in this room, knowing that through those walls lies  
cold, barren, space...I find myself wishing for things I probably  
wouldn't think twice about if I were home. Things like rain, snow,  
hell I even miss smog. I miss laughter, radios playing music so loud  
it hurts, car horns honking. I miss late night tv shows, huge  
billboards with glaring graphics, traffic lights. I miss my apartment,  
my office, my car. I even miss Frohike, Byers, Langley.   
  
But mostly I miss Scully. I miss her laughing at something stupid that  
I said, I miss her listening to another of my theories that she thinks  
is so far out there you couldn't find it with the Hubble  
telescope...believe it or not I actually miss her getting angry at me  
when I do something she thinks is stupid, reckless, and foolish .   
  
I miss home.   
  
Finis 


End file.
